[it's hot and it's so tiring but he gets through it. He throws a bit of a fit at the man but is calmed into accepting a second person to heal. Its already too much but its not like they'd listen to him anyway.
But its an old man, it's too much, it's a waste of him. Even if he's going to die--why for THAT? That's not fair. And he says as much and refuses to heal the man.
Then people are grabbing him, manhandling him--it hurts. They're holding too hard and he can't get away and he's afraid and he doesn't want to die for something like this but they force open his eyes and that hurts too]
You're hurting me.
[but they don't care and it HURTS. Everything is hot, inside and out, burning down to the gut and when he coughs hard, blood spraying, his throat burns too.
Then something Ginko has never seen before: Ahito's crying]
[ whereas before he was staying mostly quiet and calm, that - that is severely upsetting. he kneels next to Ahito sharply, reaching for his shoulder. and glaring back at the villagers. shaking slightly, trembling with both grief and anger. ]
[he's allowed some sleep--they offer to bring Ginko for his 'comfort' but he rejects that. Don't let him see me like this. Don't let him see this.
He sleeps for awhile but its not long enough, he awakes as hot and dizzy and weak as he was when he slept. But as they drag him to his next 'patient' all the fight is gone from him.
It'd be so easy to just fall asleep, it'd be so nice. But his coughs jolt him awake and he's being held up again.
And then he speaks up after the healing is finished, sounding young and afraid and pleading even though he's not asking for anything]
I.
I can't see.
[but the only response by everyone is to rush to fit in one more]
[Ahito panics--he begs and he pleads--i don't want to die, i don't want to die, there were so many more things i want to do, i'm barely a man it can't end like this--but it does no good and there's nothing left to do but heal and cry and hack up blood until he's thankfully allowed to pass out
and the memory ends here because he never wakes
But Ahito is there now, gripping onto Ginko. ari is finally done dragging dat flashback out]
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Why did I even accept that drink?
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And then the dread and the shock vanishes into anger and spitefulness. Why should I die and help these people?!]
Then we can all die! I won't be used like this!
["-- don't say that. It's only sleeping medicine. He wanted poison."
And the rage subsides just as quickly. Ginko's still here. Ginko's still in trouble if I don't do this.
All that's left for a moment is resignation to his fate. I'll die for these people. There's no helping it.
He's pulled around and brought to heal some young man. But he takes off his glasses willingly--thinking of Ginko the entire time.]
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... You shouldn't have done it for me. We were both dead already.
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But its an old man, it's too much, it's a waste of him. Even if he's going to die--why for THAT? That's not fair. And he says as much and refuses to heal the man.
Then people are grabbing him, manhandling him--it hurts. They're holding too hard and he can't get away and he's afraid and he doesn't want to die for something like this but they force open his eyes and that hurts too]
You're hurting me.
[but they don't care and it HURTS. Everything is hot, inside and out, burning down to the gut and when he coughs hard, blood spraying, his throat burns too.
Then something Ginko has never seen before: Ahito's crying]
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He sleeps for awhile but its not long enough, he awakes as hot and dizzy and weak as he was when he slept. But as they drag him to his next 'patient' all the fight is gone from him.
It'd be so easy to just fall asleep, it'd be so nice. But his coughs jolt him awake and he's being held up again.
And then he speaks up after the healing is finished, sounding young and afraid and pleading even though he's not asking for anything]
I.
I can't see.
[but the only response by everyone is to rush to fit in one more]
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Whatever happened after this, you brought on yourselves.
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and the memory ends here because he never wakes
But Ahito is there now, gripping onto Ginko. ari is finally done dragging dat flashback out]
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They abused you.
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Just forget it, okay?
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Do you want it back?
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I'm still here.
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and hunches his shoulders, wincing]
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... I should have listened to you from the start.
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[thunks his head against Ginko's chest]
I didn't want you to see that.
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Neither did I.
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Hope is more dangerous than despair.
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Now I'm just tired...
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This looks authentic, at least.
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